I chose to paint the Last Supper in the energy-symbol language because it acts as a kind of identity X-ray, revealing the differences between an awakened being and polarized consciousness. In the center place is the Christ figure in energy symbols. To each side are apostles, whom I am representing as people who identify with polarized consciousness. To the left of the Last Supper image is a three-dimensional figure who is about to walk a tightrope. In his hand is a spinning gyroscope. He is unafraid.
To understand what this painting symbolizes, in the area where a head would be on all the people portrayed in this painting, instead we find wave forms. These are waves of identity or self-definition. These waves are often created in childhood. When we are coaxed into or forced into seeing ourselves though other people’s eyes, a wave of identity is formed. These waves either have a positive emphasis or a negative one. For examples, if, as a young person, someone interrupted a pleasurable moment of our playing with food, shaping it into mountains that appeared real to us, filling us with fascination and pleasure to see, and suddenly someone yelled at us to “Stop playing with your food and eat! All you want to do is play! That’s why you’re failing in school! You don’t pay attention to what you’re doing!” As we looked up, we may well have seen eyes glaring at us, and in that moment we left our own point of view and saw ourselves from an external, and in this case, hostile point of view, and a number of waves of identity were formed.(It is wrong to play. I am wrong for wanting to play. I fail at school and learning. I do not pay attention to what I’m doing.) These are all views of who we are supposed to be as seen from outside of our own two eyes. These false-identity waves rise and fall throughout the remainder of our lives. It should be noted that looking outward from our own natural point of view is without judgment.
If we were making a drawing, quietly involved in that process, and someone interrupted our act of drawing and said, “Oh, you are such a good artist! That’s so beautiful! You are so good at art!”, we would leave our point of view and see ourselves as admirable artists. No wave of identity, positive or negative, is who we truly are. We are pure awareness, non-polarized. It is these waves of identity that are the subject of my paintings. In order to paint such invisible subjects, I have created an energy symbol visual language, which may be learned with only a few words of explanation.
To understand this painting, let’s look at the apostles. In the energy-symbol language, each wave of their heads that moves upward represents a degree of desire. Each wave that moves downward represents a wave of fear. Wherever these two waves become perfectly balanced, are equal sized but move in opposite directions, they cancel one another and leave a moment of clarity, lucidity, neither fearful nor desirous, but simply present and aware. This is an awakened state. This is presence.
I have placed a small dot where such cancellation moments occur. This dot resembles an eye on the apostles. The eye or moment of awakening happens in this repeating wave pattern of identity so that the apostle experiences a kind of strobing awareness, followed by fear and desire.
The apostles have chosen wonderful colors as their identity as well. These colors, in this visual language, are also symbolic. Red symbolizes the physical world, yellow the intellectual realm, blue the religious realm, and violet the spiritual realm. The colors that lie between these colors, such as orange and green, symbolize a consciousness or a being who is in transition in his or her beliefs. And so we have a visual energy-symbol language .In a few brush strokes and lines, one can describe a person’s inner world, his fears and desires, as wave forms which the eye can follow and re-experience., It also describes where they place their interest in life as an experience, such as physical, intellectual, religious, spiritual, or combinations of these.
I also place small emphasis marks upon the waves to show where on that wave the apostles place their rhythmic emphasis as these waves speed by again and again. If the emphasis mark is placed before the crest of a wave, then they are always moving toward their desire, but they do not achieve it. If the mark of emphasis is placed in a fear trough, then they are always in a fear state. Even though any wave must go through both fear and desire phases, to an equal degree, strobing emphasis allows a person to believe that they are always only in a fear state or a desire state because consciousness opens only as one state or the other passes by. While the apostles have taken these great colors and clever wave forms to define who they are, it also utterly limits what their potential is and limits them to being only that. Lastly, these waves of false identity are not who we truly are, but are identities that were given to us from outside, with which we have chosen to identify. We may choose to not identify with them, which leads us to the Christ figure.
The figure of Christ, which I am taking to be an awakened, fully present being – something that each and every one of us actually is but has identified with waves of identity that distract us from presence – has taken no colors of identity and therefore is transparent. Having no identity, he is indistinguishable from the rest of the universe. Where he begins and ends it is not possible to say, because he has no identity whatsoever. He also has settled the issue of waves of identity once and for all. He has declared to himself: “I desire all things to an infinite degree, and I fear all things to an infinite degree.” The two primary polarities, desire and fear, cancel and take their leave. This leaves in their place a single circle, which symbolizes a completely opened eye, absolute presence or an Awakened being. We ourselves may spend an entire lifetime, minute by minute, picking and choosing what we fear and what we desire, what we do not fear and what we do not desire, day and night, defining ourselves in a fast and continual game of self-definitional musical chairs. The Awakened being simply ends all of that by acknowledging his or her desire for all things and equal fear of all things, simply to end the game of it. Therefore, the question is answered once and for all. Are we afraid of this or that? Yes. Do we desire this or that? Yes. End of discussion. This is a simple approach to cancel all polarities and leave only the Self.
This leaves the Christ figure in a state of continual presence, and at one with the universe. Why? Because with zero identity, there is only oneness and no polarity differences to resolve with anyone or anything. One million degrees of polarity times zero is always zero. Awakening is allowing all polar identities to fall by the wayside, leaving one without a self-definition. Those self-definitions that we are all taught to be proud of or hate, as the case may be, are the very things that keep us all from being the universe at large. We exchange being all for being someone.
On the left of this energy altar is a three-dimensional figure. He is about to walk a tightrope. With one foot on the tightrope, and his hand held outward holding a rapidly spinning gyroscope, he has no fear of falling. This is because a gyroscope is nearly impossible to tilt off its plane of rotation. This means that the tightrope walker is holding a virtual railing in his hand. When he starts to tilt this way or that, he simply straightens himself on the gyroscope’s stability and remains walking the rope safely.
The tightrope walker symbolizes the stability that we achieve when we are centered as human beings. He or she is, like a gyroscope, no longer relative to gravity, but is centered in where he or she is, the absolute center of his or her universe. This is accomplished by realizing who we are, in absolute essence. We are Awareness Itself, which nothing in the universe can corrupt or take away. That is, by totally accepting our true Self, Pure Awareness, we take our place at the center of our universe.Why is our essence so pristine and secure? Because it is the very Nothingness, the Emptiness, the Void itself, which is Awareness, which is our essential Self. What could anything do to Nothingness? Buy it? Sell It? Frighten it with taking something away from it? Torture the Emptiness? Contain it in a prison? The Void is the Void. Nothing can be done to it, since it contains all experiences and yet is nothing in and of itself. It is both all and nothing simultaneously. This is who we all are. This is Awareness. It is a continual reason to rejoice. Therefore, all things that threaten us are merely questions. The question that all threats to us ask is, “Does this frighten you, or do you know who you are?”
An energy-symbol interpretation of the Last Supper allows us to see an X-ray of Awareness as compared to an X-ray of polarized consciousness. By allowing our thoughts, whether fear thoughts or desire thoughts, to stream by, without grabbing onto them, we remain ourselves. We are always free to choose whatever we do wish to experience. We are not limited in our experiences by not grabbing on to these fears and desires, but we are free to experience from our center. It is said that Krishna had many lovers, but he never lost his innocence. Overcoming our identification with fear or desire does not mean that we deny ourselves pleasure. It means that we remain innocent and fearless, allowing externally created waves of identity to pass through us without identifying with them. This brings increasing joy and non-objective fulfillment.
Last Supper Energy Altar and article by Ross G. Drago
Paint Rag Magazine
No donation is too small